The hour rang. The bell tolled. The conversation started with the simple words “I’m not feeling good” and it was the beginning of the end.
Within a few short lines of text (our primary mode of communication) my relationship with my Dominant had come to an abrupt end. But I was prepared, I was strong, although tears of course found their way to making an appearance.
I have spent days preparing myself for this eventuality, and I was completely ready when the moment arrived. For anyone, the loss of a relationship is a life change. For a submissive, you lose a lot; your rules, your structure, your routine, that person who you offered such control of your life over to is suddenly gone. I anticipate my lifestyle will remain fairly similar, but so many little things I did each day will be missing meaning. For someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), the loss of relationship is always a major blow.
However, I find I am very proud of myself. I used all of my skills. I prepared as much as I could for the fallout. I reached out to trusted resources for support. This situation was not something I wanted to go through without a few hands of support along the way. I will be forever grateful for the friendship that has seen me through. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people.
I am unsure of my footing today. I don’t know exactly what to do, except to put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going. Keep walking, the path still calls, but for now it will be a slightly slower pace at which I take the journey as I endeavor to heal. And heal I will, and beauty I will find surrounds me in all manner of ways. I just must wake to the sight of it again, but I know that time will come, and I have faith that it will be sooner rather than later.
I look forward, forward to the future, to what is to come. I still believe in dreams, in fairytales, and I am never going to give up trying until my dreams come true. This kinky little princess has big ideas for her life and nothing is going to get in the way of them coming to fruition.
Onward and upward, towards brighter days ahead.
The end really is just the beginning.
Where will the fairytale take me now?
Kinky Blonde Girl