I’m lonely.

I shouldn’t be.

I’m surrounded by people.

I’m surrounded by love and tenderness and kindness and beautiful experiences.

But I am not submitting. I don’t have anyone who understands how important it is for me to find myself on my knees before a strong dominant man.

The importance of rules and rituals and protocols in my life have now become as vital to me as breathe and water. I feel absolutely lost without them.

I have made some gains. I have taken back the power of my beautiful red restraints and made them mine. I believe this is a step in the right direction but it is just a small one. I have so far to go. The crying has mostly ceased and for that I am also grateful.

I don’t know how I am going to fill this enormous void in my life. I don’t know how to survive until I find it. I can feel it physically hurt to be missing it.

I hope I find a way. Wish me luck.

Kinky Blonde Girl