What a tremendous night.
My day was full. Filled with my happiest of things, preparing gifts for those that matter to me, the hallmark of the submissive to do things for those important people in your life that will bring them pleasure.
I traveled for the day to the workshop in a small island town with anxious anticipation of what may come my way and what might be released from me. The night before I had spent time meditating upon what things needed to be removed and set free from my broken spirit.
Once again the workshop did not disappoint. It was different than the one I had been to only days before, expected as the presenter had said every one was different from the last. I found a beautiful space with interesting conversations and interactions and experiences to be a part of. An especially lovely scene between a couple just melted my heart and inspired me so.
And then my time came, and I was willing. I was prepared for whatever was to come, my heart and spirit were open to feel whatever I needed to. The consciousness in that room was palpable, the connection between us when I stood before her looking into those caring eyes knowing full well the intention behind them was to love and to heal and to bring forth some freedom from what has been holding me back gave me such courage and comfort.
Immediately she knew I had no voice. One of the things I have struggled with has been being able to communicate safely and without judgment. My experiences have not allowed such action.
I was given an opportunity to release the things and people that have been standing in the way of me moving forward, those that I cared deeply for but brought me much pain. I was invited to cry out their names, and I did just that. Also affirming that I’m not owned by anyone anymore, they have no control over me anymore. She coaxed me into finding my voice, that thing that had been silenced for so many reasons, directly and indirectly. I spoke things out loud in that room that needed to be said but I never had the courage or confidence to do so, before all of those people, in those moments almost oblivious to them even being there.
At the end I was invited to wrap my arms around myself and give myself a hug, and pour some love into me. It was comforting and a reminder of just how important I really am. And what comfort I found ending the scene with her arms wrapped around me, her concern for my well being so clear. I was asked if I felt comfortable having someone hold me as I had come alone and was among strangers, and this sweet soul I had been sitting beside all evening offered immediately, and instantly I found myself in her arms wrapped up in her warm coat, my head resting against her chest as she simply held me until I came back to reality. Even muffins were brought to me by the wonderful woman who had done such an amazing work in coaxing those painful things from my being, such kindness I treasure more than words can even express.
I walk away from this experience a lighter woman, a stronger submissive. I can walk with my head held high, I know I am good enough, I am worthy, my voice is worth being heard and I will use it. No one owns me anymore and I am free.
Kinky Blonde Girl