Sometimes you have a relationship for an experience or to learn something or to teach the other person something. I suppose ours was all of the above. Today I said goodbye to my Daddy, and my heart breaks to do so, but it’s the right thing for both of us.
It was my first and I believe will be my only dynamic with a Daddy. I don’t think I’m built for them. We started off strong and fast, too fast, with too much heat and passion for our own good. New relationship energy tells you a lot of things, but as time goes on you come to recognize your individual needs and how different they can be from each other.
I’m still trying to understand poly, still trying to find a poly relationship that makes sense to me. I’m trying my best to make sense of multiple partner situations and how they feed my needs without hurting the people I care about. It sounds so lovely that you can find different partners to meet the different needs you have but for some reason it always sounds much better than it plays out in practicality. Somehow it keeps feeling like someone always seems to get hurt in these situations. Still so much yet to learn in this arena.
He was so sweet and so charming, so loving and thoughtful. I enjoyed every moment snuggled close to him, my head nestled into his chest in my safe space. I only wish there had been more of those moments. I wish we could have communicated better, somehow we dropped the ball on that even though we talked in some format everyday.
But I have learned a lot, most importantly how to better communicate my needs from the start and to recognize new relationship energy for what it is and not allow myself to get swept away in it. I also have learned the Daddy/princess dynamic is one that doesn’t feed this little submissive slave girl all that well. I need to serve, I need to be controlled, I need someone who wants to engage in an authentic authority transfer with me on a day to day basis. I am a 24/7 slave, a kinky little princess yes, but still a slave, and I believe my Master is out there somewhere. Now Master, where are you?
Kinky Blonde Girl