A Social with a Twist

An adventure, off to a Social with a Twist.

And how perfectly timed, it’s my kinky birthday! One year ago I walked into Fetlife armed only with some internet and YouTube knowledge and I took the chance of a lifetime. And now a year later, here we are.

From the beginning of my trip it was a blessed weekend. Once again I found myself on a boat as I sailed over to a beautiful island for what was sure to be an awe inspiring and shockingly wonderful evening. I was fortunate to find friends on the boat that would join me in the festivities.

The evening began with a class centered around power exchange, respect, ritual, intention, and objectification. Respected community members sat on a panel taking questions from the room following the watching of a beautiful Shibari rope scene full of ritual and objectification of the lovely rope bottom. During the evening we also were able to witness some inspiring examples of a submissive’s service to her Master, showing the beauty and respect in ritual and how much love and caring can go into even the simple task of serving a cup of coffee. Other opportunities for service were provided to all of us submissives throughout the evening as we served food to the attendees of the event, were human canvases for an art competition with evil sticks creating beautiful images upon the bodies of all participants, and serving as pieces of furniture.

I watched with bright eyes trying to take in every detail of the evening. Every new experience I was given I tried to immerse myself into as much as possible in order to take everything I could from this night. I did not want to leave anything behind.

Of the many wonderful pieces of bondage equipment I got to try, I was presented with the opportunity to be confined in a predicament box, an amazing contraption. I entered the aluminum box, just a little larger than what’s required for the average adult to fit inside kneeling, with holes throughout each side of the box. There are plates in one end to create stocks to lock in a submissive’s head and wrists, however in my experience we did not use them. Instead, the gentleman who is the mad genius behind this wonderful contraption, used the steel poles that are fed through the holes from one side of the box to the other to secure all parts of my body into predicament positions, including my head, legs, arms and torso. I cannot tell you how many poles were used to secure me into place, but a great deal of tickling and spanking occurred once I was securely locked (without locks) into place. It was another awesome experience of bondage, completely vulnerable, no control, and absolutely secure, without locks. A very interesting concept for my mind to grasp coming from the training and experience it has learned thus far about inescapable bondage.

But the absolute highlight of my night was the evil stick. I was fortunate enough to have the Mistress of the event offer to give me the opportunity to be her canvas and it was the first time I had ever experienced the pain and thrill of the evil stick. It has an awesome intensity that permeates long after the strike. Every strike made me melt deeper into the sweet dreamy state I landed in, with her soft touch and sweet words sending me swimming onto a soft cloud of pain and pleasure, my body burning with a beautiful fuel that lit the fire of submissive bliss I haven’t felt in such a time. I took as much as she was willing to give me. I have found myself admiring the lovely marks left upon my body with the sweet reflection of the beautiful moments and strong stunning woman that brought them to me.

It wasn’t quite a kinky fairytale ball, but it was pretty close. I was able to experience all of the things this kinky little princess is most passionate about: power exchange, bondage, objectification, and sensual, controlled, well delivered pain.

I met and talked with so many beautiful new people. I experienced so much and felt the evening to be a flurry of amazing activity and yet I missed so much of it without meaning to.

in the days that followed I felt drained, absolutely and completely. I could barely put a thought together. Exhaustion overwhelmed me. Rest was all I sought, my mind and my body aching for ease, sleep, recovery, my mind still trying to take in everything I had just experienced. Trying to remember all the details as the night became foggier and foggier. It’s almost as if a spell was upon me, I experienced so much joy, I could barely contain my excitement.

What wonderful people I found in the midst of this epic event, what kindness surrounded me, and has followed me home. I see new friendships on the horizon and even opportunities for some adventurous play. I truly believe the people I made connections with will be good influences on my journey. It is so nice to see more people of good character and integrity join my circle of community.

I don’t know all yet what I have learned from these experiences. I know my mind and emotions are still just trying to process everything that occurred and revel in the memories before any have the opportunity to slip away.

A night to remember, and here’s hoping I don’t forget a minute of it ✨

Kinky Blonde Girl

Finding my way

It’s a slow process, recovery.

Loss, in any form, takes time to adjust to the change. This has been one of the biggest changes that I can think of that I have had in my life to make mentally and emotionally.

Break ups are always a challenge, but I was in no way prepared for the emptiness I would feel by the loss of my dominant. To lose that structure in my life, the rules, rituals and protocols that went with that relationship were so ingrained into my life that losing them all along with the person I was in relationship with has been devastating.

But I think I’m starting to see the light, starting to find my way. I can’t replicate exactly what I had, but I’m slowly finding ways to feed my submissive nature without having that personal dominant relationship to guide me at this time. I’ve learned I cannot and do not want to live my life without those elements of D/s in my life anymore. I’m utterly lost without being able to kneel. I’m lost without being able to serve. I’m lost without seeing pride and pleasure in my dominant’s eyes.

In saying all of this, although I need these things in order to find complete joy and peace, I do not accept being a doormat to anyone. I refuse to become a doormat submissive to any dominant, so buyer beware. I may wish with all that I am to serve, but I will not give my submission to an unworthy recipient. The man that seeks my submission must be honest, forthright, respectful, and of the highest integrity. He will be served loyally and obediently when I feel that power and control that comes from a pure dominant heart with good intentions.

For now I will continue my research and work on myself and seek to fulfill my submissive needs on my own until such time as I find myself in the position again where I can gleefully kneel and serve.

Today I feel content in myself. I will do whatever I need to.

Kinky Blonde Girl

A lost little submissive

I’m lonely.

I shouldn’t be.

I’m surrounded by people.

I’m surrounded by love and tenderness and kindness and beautiful experiences.

But I am not submitting. I don’t have anyone who understands how important it is for me to find myself on my knees before a strong dominant man.

The importance of rules and rituals and protocols in my life have now become as vital to me as breathe and water. I feel absolutely lost without them.

I have made some gains. I have taken back the power of my beautiful red restraints and made them mine. I believe this is a step in the right direction but it is just a small one. I have so far to go. The crying has mostly ceased and for that I am also grateful.

I don’t know how I am going to fill this enormous void in my life. I don’t know how to survive until I find it. I can feel it physically hurt to be missing it.

I hope I find a way. Wish me luck.

Kinky Blonde Girl

Submission…it is calling

It’s so funny how and when things happen.

Several months ago I was regularly speaking with a Dominant in a loosely structured D/s style arrangement. He is quite handsome, a fitness fanatic, and a very good listener offering sage advice when the time has called for him to do so. And then life happens to all of us and he had to turn inward, deal with “curve balls” as he put it. So we lost touch.

But how fortuitously that following recent events this handsome man has made a reappearance in my life. Coincidence, maybe, maybe not.

What I do know is how I seek to serve. How much pleasure I receive from performing a task set before me. I didn’t even realize how desperately I was missing it until I was given a task and my heart leapt with joy because of it.

It was a kinky little task, fun, flirty and brought me back to life again. And an endurance task at that, so communication throughout the day was maintained, and several little tasks went along with the over-arching task. I was fulfilled throughout the day by my duty to serve this Dominant in this manner, and it felt so good to feel that awesomeness again.

To serve again, it was so wonderful. To hear “good girl” over and over throughout the day was so uplifting. To perform a set task well for a Dominant provides me with such joy that it is simply unexplainable.

I do hope to find myself in service once again soon. It truly does brighten my life to serve another. And honestly that service can look a lot of different ways, but at the end of the day, if I am performing well for Him, and He is pleased by me, I am a happy submissive.

To serve and obey….

Kinky Blonde Girl