Overcoming

Tonight was amazing.

I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people that care so deeply for me and my well being.

Following my triggering episode with the chain last week a great friend offered to help me in overcoming that terror and taking ownership over the chain and making it mine again so that I could once again feel the excitement, thrill and pleasure that comes from the strength and intensity that is chain.

My healing journey began by him gently placing a short length of cold chain in my hands, and immediately I could feel the emotions beginning to well up inside of me. As he added more chain to my hands, reminding me I was in control, that I had all of the power, I repeated over and over again in my mind, “I am strong, I am resilient, I am submissive”. Reminding myself who I was, what I was, and that I had everything I needed to overcome this was exactly what I needed.

When those first lengths of chain were removed, a beautiful submissive friend wrapped her arms around me, and held me close, ensuring I knew I was safe.

Later I was laid on the ground, a nice soft and comfortable spot, and slowly heavy cold lengths of weighty chain were slowly draped across my nearly naked body. The intensity of the cold was stunning, but I kept repeating my mantra, over and over, because I know in my heart of hearts that I am strong enough to overcome almost anything. Fleeting thoughts of that man would run through my mind but my concentration was on the chain, I was going to own this chain, it would be mine, part of me, part of my being, and no one is ever going to take that away from me again.

After a great weight of chain had been laid upon me, I was covered in a warm blanket, being cold from the chain and from the emotional response related to it. I was surrounded by two good friends, asking how I was, and reminding me once again of my own power. It was so empowering to have those two friends on either side of the slash supporting me and pouring love and kindness into me to see a healing occur in me.

After a time the chain was removed and a few tears were shed, much shaking occurred and some quiet time wrapped in a warm blanket was on the agenda. But I felt the power, I felt the control, and I can say I even felt some pleasure from that mighty chain.

I’m so grateful for friends that care enough to want to help me through these challenges. I would not have known how to overcome this on my own, but my friend, he knew. And thank goodness for that. Another one for the history books.

I am strong

I am resilient

I am submissive

I have overcome

Kinky Blonde Girl

Submissive bliss, a beautiful place

It’s amazing the power a few little pieces of leather and a couple of well-spoken words can have.

For the first time in over four months, I felt the wonderful feeling of leather being fastened tightly around my wrists and ankles, and I quickly fell into submissive bliss. But the unexpected happened, the beautiful collar that is part of my crimson red set of restraints found its way to my lonely and bare neck. As my play partner put it into place and cinched it tightly, I felt absolutely at ease, a peacefulness and happiness I haven’t felt in a great long time.

But it didn’t end there. For what I believe was the first time I heard the words “good girl” from my play partner. I melted. I couldn’t have written the scene better myself if I had tried. It’s not that I think he considers me anything else, but I have never voiced to him how much power those words yield over me, and just how intensely I react to hearing them. Another situation proving just how much communication is key to the success of any relationship. How could he possibly know unless I tell him how much they mean to me.

Submissive bliss, so hard to find at times and then when it finds you it pours down like a beautiful tropical shower of warm goodness. I couldn’t possibly have felt any happier in those moments and to finally feel the leather against my skin again, just made this kinky little princess smile brighter than she has in months. What was lost has been found again, my little submissive self is slowly coming back to life.

And who knew all it took was a little leather and two little words.

To all the good girls out there, shine bright! I know I am!

Kinky Blonde Girl

Growing through Bondage

My most recent adventure in bondage, FTP (forced toe pointer) trainers, what an interesting experience that was. They are incredibly beautiful and a first of their kind edition with locking mechanisms added at my Sir’s request.

Now I have absolutely no experience as a dancer, I have spent zero time on my toes with the exception of a fairly comfortable set of high heels. But my Sir presented me with these FTP trainers as part of his most recent bondage scene. I had to learn incredibly quickly how to walk in them, completely bound, in circles, around my home, and then the added intensity of impact and sensation play.

I love the new things he always comes up with to challenge me and push my boundaries. When I don’t think I’m capable of something, he usually thinks I am, and always turns out to be right. His trust in my abilities to take risks, try new and daring things, always leaves me feeling full of confidence I didn’t have before. This is one of the greatest gifts he gives me.

Even the simple act of posting our activities to FL leaves me feeling anxious, always thinking that no one will have any interest in seeing me, what he has done with me. I have self confidence issues, body issues, and yet he sees something in me I struggle to see but obviously others see it too, because without a doubt there is always a great number of people that follow his posts and enjoy our content. I find it shocking every time.

I believe a day will come when I will have the same confidence in the world that I have when in his trusted hands, but for now I can only trust in him. I will believe in what he sees in me and try to see it for myself, and continue to grow into this person so I can try and face the world as a stronger woman.

Onto the next adventure…

Kinky Blonde Girl